Saturday, September 5, 2015

"The In-Between Time" Between the Knock on the Door, the Police, the realization of Betrayal and our "next life" with or without "our" Sex Offender.

I found this discussion on Daily Strength (Families of sex Offenders,under the thread  "The In Between Time"  I just recently "found" this resource because a friend of mine whose husband is on the Sex Offender Registry told me about Daily Strength. I wanted to share it with you. Not because I don't hope that Not the Life I Chose won't continue to feel like your "Home Group" so to speak but because we all need each other every day and in sharing, in Breaking the Silence, Overcoming our Fears, we gather courage to become Visible  once again...(I'd even say finding strength to lift the Burdens of Silence and shame from our shoulders and from the shoulders of other women after the Knock on the door is empowering!) When I find more resources I'll share them also and please share your own thoughts, resources etc with the rest of us here on Not The Life I Chose. Please. 

Any way here is reply #7 from the thread

"The "in between" time

The initial shock in any tragic situation is always the hardest. There are many unfamiliar stumbling blocks, and it makes the grieving process (Yes, it is a grieving process) difficult to move forward with, especially if each time you think you are getting a handle on things, something else is thrown at you. 

  • I cannot speak from the aspect of a child going through something like this with a parent. My situation is as a parent grieving the actions of an adult child, but some things are sort of the same.

    Going forward you can count on your life being different from what you have known in the past. People will go out of their way to ‘advice’ you on how you ‘should’ handle things. Many will make claims to know what is best for you and your son. So called friends may turn their backs on you, and you will be judged by proxy. (Associaton)

    On the other hand, you may have different experiences. Go with what feels right for you. If you don’t want to talk about it…..don’t. Make decisions in a manner that will make the process easier for you and your son to handle. Don’t let well meaning people push you into doing something that doesn’t feel right to you.

    I believe one things most of us going through this type of situation have in common is that we have had to grow a pretty thick skin to protect ourselves from the petty gossip that arises, and have had to be willing to accept changes as they come in order to keep our heads above water. You do what you have to do for yourself and your son.

    Keeping busy is a key factor. You will need to distract your mind or you will go nuts thinking about things. I myself probably have the cleanest house in 3 states. Movement and physical activity helps me. I reveal close to the bone events openly to only one person, as most of the people I used to call friends and family are not around by their choice or mine.

    The limbo phase is truly the hardest. Hang in there, eventually things will start to smooth out some. Come back and let us know how you are. We do care. "
I second the motion. Please do come back and let us know how you are. We do care here on Not the Life I Chose, also.

No comments:

Post a Comment